Bathing Suit Shopping is Dangerous. Maybe.

Oh Dear Lawd baby Jesus! (Please don't take offense to that..I love baby Jesus, and grown Jesus, and died for my sins Jesus..they are all my favorite!) 

What. A. Day. 

Let's start with the fact that I wake up after having only five hours asleep because my body hates me and my lungs are on vacation. I really should have abs of steel with all this coughing..or at least be able to know that I have abs in there somewhere. Ha! So, I dig around for my big girl panties and go to school. Four of my kids are absent. Strep is running rampant I think. I hate that for them. Honestly though, you would have thought I brought an extra ten kids with me if you measured the energy in the room. Why can't someone figure out how to bottle that stuff! We would be millionaires for sure. We can start with my own kids. They can volunteer as tribute. Ha! 

I didn't take my class outside for recess. They were super sweet though when I told them I didn't need to be in the wind because I didn't feel well. Instead we just raced around the classroom a hundred times. I kid. I kid. Maybe. Ha!

Then comes the fun part of my day: bathing suit shopping. Ugh. I'd rather eat glass. Well, maybe not glass but something equally dramatic but not as painful.

I have worked out five days a week for the past month. The scale hasn't moved. I actually hate that thing. I may just put it in the garbage. The good news is that I have done well w moving up my weights when lifting and have made it to 22 minutes on the elliptical without dying. One time I did 40 minutes on the treadmill and thought I should get a prize or something. Really, I just needed to see who the killer was in the episode of Castle I was watching, but whatever. My arm flab isn't AS flappy (thought still terribly tragic) so that makes me feel a little better. Maybe. 

Oh bathing suits. Blah. 

I'm going in a cruise for Spring Break. Did I tell you that?! I am SO excited to spend a whole week with my husband. You know, he's my favorite. My kids actually have Spring Break the week before mine and Nick has a week of vaca to use before May or he loses it so it worked out great for the two of us. I told my kids they couldn't give us any grief because they went to Disney over Christmas break. Ask me what my kids are doing while we are gone. Well, a good mom would know but I don't have a plan yet. My daughter thinks since she is 19, I should just leave her in charge and not have anyone stay over. Um, Brrnnttt. She has a serious boyfriend and my two boys are rule breakers for sure when I'm not looking. Who leaves three teens for a week? Wouldn't that end up being a modern day Sixteen Candles?! Um, no thank you. Someone will be here. We may even install a security system. And cameras. Ha! 

I'm seriously so excited though about this kid free vacation. And the best part? I don't have to cook! I know, you were thinking long walks on the beach w hubs..yeah, no. Ha! Though that will happen...cooking wins! 

Sorry I get attacked by squirrels. You read my blog. This is not new information lol. Moving on. I'm what you would call a heated mess. Ha! (Have you seen Pitch Perfect 2? So good!) 

I feel like I need to provide you with this public service announcement! Warning: bathing suit shopping can be dangerous and cause asthma attacks! True story. 

As much as I dread bathing suit shopping, I need one for the cruise and I heard of a flash sale so I had to go. After trying on everything in the store, I found "the one". I was at the checkout and started coughing. The lady helping me offered the water fountain in the back (apparently water is only for employees, ha). I said I was fine; I just needed a breathing treatment. I'm currently on steroids because my asthma is giving me trouble. So, I kept coughing and it got much worse. This has never happened that fast. I wanted to ask for water but I couldn't catch my breath enough to speak. I was screaming on the inside though.  My eyes filled w tears and I turned bright red. My mom (who was w me) said to go to the water fountain so the lady told me where it was. I drank. Then coughed so hard I puked. Dank more. Puked again. And tried to drink more. I really thought I was going to pass out. Meanwhile I'm thinking, does that mean I stop breathing or do passed out people still cough?! Will someone come back here and find me on the floor or will I make a thundering bang when I drop to the floor? You know all the important stuff. 

I pulled it together enough to ask my mom to go get my inhaler out of my car. She did and I inhaled. I kept it together long enough to buy the stupid perfect swim suit and left. I made it home and now doing a breathing treatment (while still coughing). The moral of the story is as much as I hate bathing suit shopping (and I did score a super cute one for our cruise) I now feel that it may be dangerous! I think my husband would LOVE it if I thought shopping was bad for my health but really w Amazon Prime, there is nothing holding me down. Ha! 

So, be careful out there! If someone offers you water, drink the dang thing. Thank you Wednesday for feeling like a Monday.  And I already need a nap on Thursday! 

Live and virtual hugs!